


The Men Who Skype with Goats

by flightyrock



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: ;), Canon Compliant, Cryofreeze (Marvel), Don’t copy to another site, Goats, Humor, I tried at least, It does not go to plan, M/M, May be slightly OOC, Mental Health Issues, Old Friends, Skype, Surprises, Swearing, Wakanda, also after black panther, also old "friends", bucky names his goats after old movie stars, bucky without the metal arm, but the arm is fake, first meeting after bucky gets out of cryofreeze, i think, might be slight body horror?, takes place between Civil War and Infinity Wars, talk about a goat running around with an arm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 01:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17294684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightyrock/pseuds/flightyrock
Summary: Steve is over the moon when he finally gets to visit Bucky.  Out of cryofreeze.  Not over video chat, or over the phone, or through that awful cryofreeze tube, but face to face.  In person.  In Wakanda.But too soon Steve will be over the mountain as well, in hot pursuit of a fuzzball and an arm.  This was NOT what Steve had in mind for their reunion.~“So we’re going to get your arm back,” Steve concluded.Bucky shot him a reproachful look.





	The Men Who Skype with Goats

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! This fic is a gift for captivekinqs@tumblr.com as part of the SteveBucky Gift Exchange as organized by stevebbucks@tumblr.com and stevebucky-daily@tumblr.com.
> 
> A big thanks to my amazing beta ohstars (ao3, also oh--stars@tumblr.com), who jumped on this last minute for me. Thanks so much <3.
> 
> This takes place sometime between the events of the end credit scene of Black Panther and Infinity Wars. It's meant to be canon compliant, but it may be a bit OOC. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> EDIT 5/29/19- Fixed a couple of typos

Steve had only ever met Cooper over the screen of his laptop.  Bucky had introduced them during one of their many Skype calls.  He was cute, outspoken. Fuzzy. He was much less pleasant to interact with in person.

 

“Come _on,_ you little shit,” Steve grouched, scaling the side of the mountain.  “Just _c’mere_.”

 

Cooper just trotted in circles, just out of reach, chewing merrily on Bucky’s prosthetic, slobber seeping from his mouth and freezing as it hit the ground.  Steve cursed up a storm from where he dangled from the cliff face, and tried to heave himself up quickly enough to catch the asshole by surprise, but not so quickly he spooked him.  But Steve must have been too quick, because Cooper just let out a sharp cry in the back of his throat and sprinted off again, the foam bicep catching on rocks and throwing him off balance.

 

Bucky heaved himself up beside Steve, took one look at his face, and howled with laughter, watching his oldest friend be outmaneuvered by his favorite goat.  

 

~~

 

After his team cleared the latest insurgent group out of Siberia, Steve finally decided to listen to Sam and take a bit of time to visit Bucky.  He’d been itching to see his friend ever since he’d gotten the call that Bucky was out of cryo and on his way to recovery, but it just hadn’t worked out.

 

Steve was all set to _run_ to Wakanda the moment Shuri reported that Bucky was officially stable enough to be thawed.  But she had advised against a visit at that time.

 

Well, her exact words were, “You’re not coming.”

 

“Why the hell not?” Steve had growled over the video transmitter.

 

The princess just raised a brow.  “If it had been up to me, you would not have been informed at all.  But Sergeant Barnes insisted, said something about ‘if anyone could figure out a way to have a coronary even with a superhuman heart, it would be that idiot.’”  Steve was a second away from bolting to the door, but Shuri wasn’t done. She raised her eyebrows. “But he also said he is not ready to see you yet. And I agree,” she said, holding up a hand to silence any argument.  “Just give him his space. And time. He will come to you when he is ready.”

 

And Bucky did; over the phone.  That first call...was a bit of a mess, honestly.  They were too stiff and formal, and didn’t say much, caught up in the sound of the other’s voice, overthinking the other’s tone.  Then Steve heard Shuri complaining in the background, and soon they were switched over to a video call. Seeing Bucky looking so _good_ had Steve in tears in moments, and they spent several hours catching up for real.  Sam had to quite literally rip the tablet out of Steve’s hands so that he would come to dinner.

 

After that, they called each other several times a week.  They reminisced about years gone by a little, but mostly, Steve talked about his escapades, and learned what Bucky was up to.  Turned out Bucky was being given an education on Wakandan culture and language, and it sounded like he read everything he could get his hands on.  Steve got to watch as Bucky relaxed more and more with each call, as he got set up with a small farm to call his very own, and, eventually, introduced Steve to his kids.

 

“This is Ginger; she’s a doll.  And this is Rita, she is an attention hog.  This furball is Stu, and this troublemaker right here is Cooper,”  Bucky patted each small goat in the almost-line they formed at the feeding trough.

 

“Goats, huh?”  Steve asked later, after Bucky took his computer back inside and was settled at the table again.  “Any particular reason why?”

 

Bucky shrugged.  “Shuri suggested them.  Thought that having something small and troublesome to look after might make me feel more at home,” he smirked at Steve.

 

“Jerk,” Steve tried to scowl, but it didn’t have the impact he was looking for; the corners of his mouth kept twitching.

 

Steve also got to watch from afar as the ‘kids’ (“and billies,” Bucky corrected,) grew into their horns as the weeks, then months, passed.  Bucky almost always had a goat story. Ginger liked to pick fights with the others, and Cooper was an escape artist. And ate literally everything; Bucky found him chewing a bowler hat once.  And Bucky didn’t own any hats. Hell, Steve didn’t think bowler hats were a thing anywhere, not to mention Wakanda. The local human kids loved to come over and play with them at all hours. Bucky griped about how they hardly spent any time at their own homes, but Steve didn’t think that Bucky minded all that much, if the softness around his eyes meant anything.    

 

Before he knew it, Steve’s life had settled into a comfortable pattern of running missions, hanging out with Sam and Nat, and counting down the hours until Bucky was free for a call.  Until, out of nowhere, the day finally came.

 

“Um, I’d like to see you,” Bucky said quickly, around the time they were about to hang up.  He was reluctantly wearing the new prototype prosthetic Shuri was testing, so was able to wring his hands together.  (“It’s foam,” he had explained, “to get my arm and shoulder used to having weight on it again. She’s gonna step up the weight a bit every week.  But it works, at least. And it’s a hell of a lot easier to tame this mop with a second hand,” he swept his bangs out of his eyes with a grin.)

 

Steve just laughed.  “Buck, you see me every couple of days.”

 

Bucky wasn’t impressed.  “No, Steve, I mean. You can _come_.  To see me, and the farm.  If you want,” he tacked on hastily, glancing away from Steve’s blank expression.

 

Steve’s throat closed a bit, but he still managed a smile.  “Of course I’ll come,” he grinned. “Is tomorrow okay?”

 

And that was how Steve finally ended up visiting Bucky.  Steve was in disbelief all day; in less than 12 hours, he’d be with Bucky.  Then it was less than six, then two. Then it was just fifteen minutes away, and Sam was grinning at him knowingly as Steve fidgeted in his seat.  It all seemed too good to be true.

 

Steve really should have known that it was.  

 

He spent those last couple of minutes panicking over his clothes, of all things.  They hadn’t seen each other in person in _months,_ and the nicest thing Steve had was a t-shirt over a pair of his combat pants.  

 

“Oh my God, stop fussing,” Nat griped from the pilot’s chair as she put them down.  “You’re both over a hundred years old, grow up.” Steve didn’t question how she knew without looking; he was used to it at this point.  And he was too excited to come up with a good comeback; they were here!

 

He didn’t even wait for the blades to stop going before he was throwing open the hatch and slipping out, running to where Bucky waited in front of the landing pad in front of the palace, flanked by four members of the Dora Milaje, and was looking...really upset.

 

Steve stopped short.  “Buck?” he asked, uncertain.  “Do you want me to...should I go?”

 

“Yeah, right away!”  Bucky nodded emphatically, and Steve felt his heart break.  “You’re the best, Steve!” Bucky rambled, relief clear on his face as he pulled Steve into a quick hug and trotted towards the jet.

 

Steve stared after him.  “Uh, Buck? If you need space, I don’t think that’s the best... I mean, the others are there, and--”

 

“What?  Space?” Bucky asked.  His brow furrowed, then his eyebrows shot up in realization, then he punched Steve in the shoulder.  “No, you goof! _We_ need to go right now, I’ll explain on the way.”

 

Steve made eye contact with the pilot’s window, and rotated his hand.  Nat, thankfully, understood, revving the engines back up as they came up the drawbridge.

 

“Barnes.” Sam stared at Bucky, nostrils flaring.

 

“Wilson,”  Bucky nodded at him.

 

“Hey, Barnes, where’re we headed?” Natasha tossed over her shoulder.

 

“Mount Wakanda.  Please,” Bucky said, pacing around the cabin.

 

“Um, hi?” Steve said, coming up to him hesitantly, reluctant to disturb him.  This really wasn’t how he had pictured their reunion going, but he was distantly relieved to notice that Bucky was dressed pretty casually as well, in khaki pants and a tank top he’d presumably made himself by ripping the sleeves off a button down, making his lack of prosthetic pretty obvious.

 

“Hey, Steve.  So here’s the situation; I woke up sometime around 0300 and couldn’t get back to sleep, and figured I might as well bale some hay while I was awake.  Took the arm off while I made breakfast and left it outside to dry; it gets all sweaty and gross. When I got back, I couldn’t find the damn thing. Didn’t think much of it.  But when feeding time came this morning, I couldn’t find Cooper. When I asked around town, the only thing anyone could tell me about a goat was that their kids were making up tall tales about a goat eating human flesh.  So of course I asked them if I could talk to the kids, and all the kids could talk about was a billy goat chewing on an arm and dashing off into the mountains.”

 

“So we’re going to get your arm back,” Steve concluded.

 

Bucky shot him a reproachful look.

 

“What?  No! I don’t give a fuck about the arm, Jesus.  I need to find Cooper; that dumbass is a magnet for trouble, he’s gonna get himself killed all alone out there,” Bucky fretted, and Steve patted his arm sympathetically, feeling his face set  with determination.

 

“Don’t worry, Buck, we’ll find him.”  

 

~~

 

As it turned out, _finding_ the goat was no problem.   _Catching_ the goat on the other hand…

 

“C’mere you slippery little…” Steve muttered angrily, as the goat ran from him yet _again._  He’d tried the straightforward approach.  He’d tried bribery (they’d had a couple apples in the jet).  He’d tried misdirection (Nat approached from the front and Steve snuck up behind.)  Hell, he’d even tried an ambush (jumping from a tree, yelling like a lunatic; not his finest moment).  At least Bucky was enjoying himself, collapsed on the ground, wheezing with laughter. Steve scowled.

 

“Sorry, pal,” Bucky wheezed, “it’s just, your _face--_ ” and he dissolved into laughter yet again.

 

“Why aren’t _you_ going after him?”  Steve grumbled, brushing his pants off.  “Pretty sure he likes you more than me.”

 

Bucky rolled his eyes at him.  “Why d’you think?” he said, pointing his armless shoulder at Steve.

 

Steve scowled, but couldn’t fault his logic in a way that didn’t make him sound like an asshole.  And Barnes knew it, from the way he just raised his eyebrows challengingly.

 

That’s it.  Time for Steve to call in the big guns.  He pressed a finger to the comm still in his ear.  “Sam? Nat? Engage retrieval pattern Theta Fox.”

 

“ _Affirmative,_ ” Nat said, climbing up the cliff face and advancing towards Cooper, banging on a can of beans with a spoon.  Then Sam swooped up behind the fluffy thing, scooping it up in a large net. Cooper opened his mouth to bleat angrilly, dropping Bucky’s prosthetic in the process.  Steve scooped it up while Bucky wasted no time checking over horned ball of fluff, and soothing him as best he could while he was tangled up in netting, eyes rolling in terror.

 

“Shh, hey, you’re alright.  I’ll let you out as soon as we get back to the jet,” Bucky promised, petting his head.

 

“Oh, _hell_  no!” Sam yelled.  “Barnes, you are not letting that _thing_ loose on our jet!  It’s gonna chew the wiring!”

 

“Cooper would do no such thing,” Bucky sniffed, “He’ll probably chew the upholstery.”

 

“That’s not any better!” Sam yelled, as Bucky and Steve traded; Bucky tried to figure out if his arm would go back on, being as there was much less of it than before, while Steve tried to keep a hold on a squirming shoulderful of fur and sharp hooves.  Bucky gave the prosthetic up for a lost cause, worrying if the goat would get sick from consuming that much styrofoam. Steve tried not to roll his eyes.

 

When everyone was all settled in the jet (and Sam had closed the door to his bedroom), Bucky let out a sigh of relief, putting his head back against his seat.  Steve did the same, settling in the chair across from Bucky’s. Their eyes met, and they grinned.

 

“Well, that was a trip,” Steve chuckled.

 

“Thank you, Steve,” Bucky said, sincerely, patting Cooper’s head.  

 

Steve swallowed.  “No problem, pal.”

 

~~

 

They didn’t talk much during the return flight, Bucky watching the goat, and Steve watching Bucky.  It was nice, seeing Bucky look so relaxed, so...peaceful. Bucky Barnes hadn’t known peace from the moment he got his draft letter.  And Steve was happy for him, he really was. But...that selfish part of himself that he kept buried deep couldn’t help but feel a bit hurt.  He had hoped, maybe, when Bucky was recovered, that Bucky might want to join him. Fighting evil, protecting the innocent. For real, this time, not as a puppet of the US Government.   _But Bucky’s happy here, and he deserves to be happy_ , Steve reminded himself sternly.  After all, they’d always have Skype.  And Steve could visit now; they’d be alright.  He resolved to enjoy the rest of their time together.

 

Steve waved goodbye to Sam and Nat after the dropped Bucky and Cooper off in a field across from Bucky’s hut.  Steve hefted Cooper, and they were off. Bucky grinned at him. Steve blinked.

 

“What?” Steve asked, baffled.

 

“You,”  Bucky said, huffing.  “How can a purported tactical genius like yourself be so _dumb?_ I’m actually kind of insulted.  I mean, seriously, Steve, I could have had Cooper caught in twenty minutes.  I was an elite assassin, you know, I’m perfectly capable of catching a goat one-handed, what do you take me for?”

 

Steve spluttered, and they rounded the corner, coming around the back of Bucky’s hut, in front of a small pond filled with aquatic flowers.  Spread over the grass was a blanket, and on it, all manner of food and drink. Steve put Cooper down and gaped as Bucky went over and sat down.  Cooper trotted over and started munching on a corner of the blanket. Bucky gently tugged at the blanket, shooting a significant look at Steve.

 

Steve just stood there.  “Bucky, what…”

 

Bucky just rolled his eyes.  “Come sit down,” he patted the blanket beside him.

 

“How?”  Steve finally asked weakly, as he sat.  “Isn’t Shuri going to be mad that you fed the goat your arm just so you could surprise me?”

 

Bucky laughed.  “Nah, that part was real.  Decided to take advantage, and called in a favor before I went to meet you.  Easy. Well, and played up how hard it was to catch a goat. But it was totally worth it; you’re hilarious when you’re flustered.  Looked like that dumbass little punk that was always jumping headfirst into ‘situations’ in the name of all that was right and good.  Not that much has changed.”

 

Steve chuckled as he punched him playfully on the shoulder.  “Thanks, you jerk.”

 

Bucky looked at Steve and softened.  “I missed you. Even before everything else was straightened out up here,” he tapped his temple, “I remembered that.”  Bucky averted his gaze. “Not that everything’s all right all the time; still get mixed up sometimes, and I’ll probably always have bad days.  And they’ll only get worse, when I join you. I _want_ to join you all, but I need another arm for that.  I feel bad for working Shuri so hard, and it’s still going to be a while, so I’d understand if you didn’t want--”

 

Steve swallowed his words with a kiss, the tension melting from Bucky’s body.  He’d missed this, and judging from Bucky’s enthusiastic return, the feeling was mutual.  It deepened for a moment, then they tapered off into short little pecks, Bucky sucking gently at Steve’s bottom lip as they pulled away for the last time, and stared at each other in silence.

 

“Hi,” Steve breathed.  

 

“Hi!”  Bucky laughed.  “You hungry? We’ll have plenty of time to catch up.”  Steve had a feeling he wasn’t just talking about this visit.

 

“Yeah?”  Steve asked, hopefully.

 

Bucky smiled at him.  “Yeah.”

**Author's Note:**

> Just so y'all know, Mt. Wakanda comes straight from marvel comics canon. I literally cannot make this stuff up (seriously, i'm terrible at names, that's why i stole it from canon, lol). Like many people, I was inspired by that interview about Steve and Bucky skyping, and goats are adorable little chaotic neutral assholes, so I couldn't not. 
> 
> Bucky's goats are all named after actors and actresses who were famous in the 40s. Do I remember which ones? Nope, I'm tired. Sorry, all!
> 
> Also, the title is a play on "The Men Who Stare at Goats." Hilarious title. I've never seen the movie.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> ~
> 
> feel free to come chat on tumblr! my user's the same; flightyrock@tumblr.com. until next time!


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